What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
