There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
