just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The air taste purple.
Randomize
