I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
