The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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