Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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