Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
