How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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