sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
