he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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