Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
