he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
