I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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