happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
