I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
