just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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