she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
