if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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