Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
