My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
