hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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