I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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