So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
