Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
