giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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