i permit you to call me
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
