I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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