Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
