i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
In America we eat man semen.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My ass is underappreciated
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
