so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
