we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
