How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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