i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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