Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
