Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
