why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
