how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You may now shotgun with the bride
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
