i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
