Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Ladies don't puke and tell
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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