How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
