is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You are the jesus of drinking
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
