U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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