I wanna bring you to show and tell
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
