We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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