I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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