I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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