she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
