life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
