I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
