508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
