Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
